Last night I left Deaths Advocate. I had come to the realization that I wasn't a good fit for the guild. Yes, playwise, I fit in very well, but I had changed into a person that I didn't like in order to fit in with the other personalities. In short, I had become rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. I had participated and initiated R rated conversations and had even started using some quasi-foul language. That is not the person that I want to be.
I guess I found people I could raid with, but ended up not liking to spend time with. There were a couple of people in the guild that I really liked, but for the most part, I really wouldn't have chosen to hang out with the rest of the guild if it weren't for raids. I really should have thought more about that part of being a guild member before jumping ship.
So, now, Turion, the Pally tank, wants me to return to The Iron Ring, but I can't do that until I make amends with Myk and Kat for the way I left and subsequent behavior. I really have been like a bull in a china shop in regards to just making a mess out of my online relationships. GG Dax!
This also brings to light the same thing is going on with my Horde guild, Kruel. I have changed who I am to fit in and be accepted by them, and I really need to either voice my concerns about R rated convos in Vent/Gchat (some of which I've encouraged and participated in) or leave the guild.
I really hate the part of my character that so easily tosses aside my principles in order to be accepted by my "new found friends". /sigh. For some reason I have no problem with not caring about what people think of me IRL, but online, I want to be seen as cool, witty, and funny. And that desire usually takes me into places that I should not and do not want to go.
And so, I'm changing the name of the blog to musingsofawowFLAKE. lol.