Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Hitting the wall


It was bound to happen eventually. I have no motivation.

I've been in college for roughly 19 years now. I've quit, gone back, quit, gone back, quit, etc. I got an associates' degree for my trouble and have a fairly secure job working for the U.S. Gubment. This semester was my "go back" phase after taking the last two semesters off.

One of my issues is that I have absolutely no interest in learning the content of my two classes. One is Networking stuff, and the other is UML software design stuff. So you poor readers get to read my various thoughts and analysis of the issue. You may stop reading any time you like.

1. My lack of motivation does not stem from doing poorly; on the contrary, I have A averages in both classes.

2. Time is not an issue, as I can freely do school work on my work time (I know, your tax dollars at work...erm, school...uh, not working....nvm...). As such, my school work does not interfere with my WoW time (class does a bit, but homework doesn't).

3. My field of study is only marginally useful to my current field of employment, and I have serious doubts as to whether I'll ever leave this job before retirement.

4. Paying for classes is somewhat of a consideration. Why should I be paying for something that I won't use and don't really care about?

5. I keep hearing the same thing: "You only have 9 (or so) classes; you need to just finish it!" Finish it just because I'm so close. I get weary just thinking about it.

6. I'm tired. Tired of trying to learn this junk. Tired of the effort of homework. Just sick and tired of school.

7. Yes, this is a pity party. You were warned....

8. The situation would be different if I were 22 years old with my whole working life ahead of me, but I'm 40 and in the middle of my career. For whatever reasons, I am where I am, and I'm comfortable with that. So, why exert all this effort for no gain?

9. I have a week and a half before the last date to withdrawal with a "W" instead of an "F" to make my decision.

10. I come to conclusions too quickly and too often act on them.


I'm not looking for you guys to encourage me or chide me or whatever me. I guess I just wanted to vent, and since I happen to write the blog....well, yeah.



Fear said...

I understand exactly how you feel. I have a years worth of courses left and no motivation to get it done. My last semester was all w's as well and I haven't been back since I found a great job.
I think once you get to a certain point you don't need the school.
You could always go back for free when you retire ^_^

Ess said...

Whew, I really understand where you're coming from. I heard a lot of "finish it! you're so close!" every time I threatened to quit graduate school. The frequency of my threats increased exponentially the closer I got to finishing, too. (Even when I was writing my dissertation, there were days I just wanted to say #$%^ it all, get in my car, and drive to Alaska.) I did finish the degree, but emotionally, it nearly finished me first. Even after most of the really hard work was done, those last bits were sucking the life out of me. I will never subject myself to that kind of unhappiness again.


Hang in there, bud...

Daxenos said...

I ended up quitting...again. No, I didn't feel real good about it and will probably come to regret it.

And it doesn't help the aggro situation at home either as my wife thinks I quit because "[I'm] addicted to that game!"

Grumpy Misanthrope said...

How bout this...there are some gubment jobs that require a degree. The degree doesn't matter, but you have to have one. And the track you want to take might require the eventual procurement of that peice of paper, regardless of the relevance the peice of paper might have to the job at hand...

Besides, school is fun;).

Daxenos said...

The job I currently hold (and plan on holding for the remainder of my career) requires an AAS degree, which I have.

I really don't want to move on/up to another job, so pieces of paper aren't important for my non-advancement.

And, school USED to be fun....