Since I encouraged people to buzz off if they didn't know where I was coming from, I decided to make it easier for them to know where I'm coming from.
I recognize that I'm a weak individual. Yep, bummer for me. I have a hard time saying "no" to my online friends, who for some reason I want to like me. I have an easier time saying "no" to my family, who I know already love me, if not like me, all the time.
One of the reasons I had such a negative reaction to BRK's post is that I've been put in that very position of being pressured through joking and kidding. Was it their fault? Nope, I was the one with the problem; I was the one who's perspective of life in general was totally screwed up.
How screwed up was my perspective?
I considered leaving my wife of 16 years over the game.
I skipped family events in order to play the game.
I got angry/irritated whenever I was interrupted from playing the game.
I raided even though I knew that it was tearing my marriage apart.
I took time off work for the sole purpose of playing the game.
I skipped church to play the game.
In short, the game became the number one priority in my life.
And who's fault was all that? Mine. Not Blizzard's, not Turion, not The Iron Ring or Death's Advocate. Mine and mine alone.
I allowed myself to be manipulated by jesting and guildies' expectations.
I allowed my desire for loot to trump my real life responsibilities.
I allowed my drive to be entertained to seriously damage my relationship with the ones I love.
I did it and bear the blame/guilt.
When I finally came to my senses, I firstly thanked God that it wasn't too late. I am very grateful that the Lord didn't give me what I wanted, but that He revealed to me what I was chasing. I've been at this point before with other obsessions - Amway and school come to mind, and now WoW has been added to the list.
So, why the response? I wanted to let people that are obsessive, like me, know that it's the right thing to do to put their real life ahead of the game. I also wanted to get the community to back off on the pressure that weak individuals, like myself, are so prone to cave in to.
In short, it's a game. A. Game.
It is not life.
It is not lasting.
It is not capable of loving.
It is not able to fill the void.
It is a game.
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2 comments:
So true! Congrats, Dax, not a lot of people face that fact or can fess up to it. I don't think your weak at all.
Amen, brother. And (for what it's worth) I don't think you're weak at all-you realized the problem in time, took action, and now you're dancin' (with the wife =).
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