Monday, September 10, 2012

Three miles and a plan

Hey lookit that: each mile was faster than the one before.  That means (roughly 10 seconds/mile quicker) if I ran just 42 more miles, maintaining the decreasing time/mile, I could break the world record for the mile!

Unfortunately, I decided to stop.  That record will stand a bit longer, I suppose.

Ok, the plan: Start hitting up long runs on Saturdays, add one more day of running/week for 4x, get my long run up to 12-13 miles by late October, and run the Monumental Marathon Half Marathon on Nov 3rd.  This will also serve as my official challenge to Gary the Exploding Unicorn to a foot race of approximately 13.1 miles to run concurrent with the aforementioned half marathon.

Special rules for the foot race are as follows:
1.  No biting.
2.  No full nelsons (half nelsons are allowed)
3.  No throat punches, groin kicks, or bamboo under the fingernail moves.
4.  For Hank the Unicorn, no running.
5.  For Rusty the Nutjob, no walking.
6.  No motorized vehicle assistance of any kind (if you need an ambulance ride, you will be disqualified.)

I will assume you agree to these terms, Terry, and will save a spot for you near the back of the pack where I will start.  Remember, when the gun goes off, you will have to do the two hour version of the hokey pokey before you are allowed to start as all unicorns must do.

May the best man win!  (see what I did there unicorn boy?  snicker...)


Exploding Unicorn said...

I agree to your terms pending the following amendments:

1. The distance you travel during your head start cannot exceed the range of a high power rifle.
2. I get a high power rifle.

Rusty said...


1. As the race is downtown Indy, being within range of a high powered rifle is not the same as being in line of sight of the person or unicorn operating said weapon.

1a. By range, I assume you mean maximum range, which is a good deal further than effective range. I will be within maximum range of the most powerful representation of the class of "high power rifles."

2. You must supply your own high powered rifle.

Exploding Unicorn said...

Unfortunately I must decline your offer if you can't supply me with the rifle. I can't buy one for myself due to my many, many, many felony convictions. But I was framed all 168 times.