I canceled my WoW account this morning, and my time runs out Aug 7th. I only plan to log in long enough to send my gold and some items over to try to repay Teurion for when he last quit.
TL:DR version is at the end.
Alrighty, as many of you know, I take my relationship with God pretty serious, and lately, I've started being convicted of how much time I've been spending in WoW. In fact, it's more sinister than just time; I've actually made an idol of World of Warcraft.
I heard someone define an idol as looking to anything except Jesus Christ for identity, meaning, and ultimate purpose. That describes what WoW had become for me.
I got a sense of accomplishment from my activities in game, whether it was topping the damage meter, downing a boss, or leveling a new 'toon. I took pride in my deeds in game, and they were a source of identity for me (witness all the blog entries that speak to this).
Now, I'm not back at the point I was in 2007/2008 when I was consciously putting the game before my wife and family; I have somewhat of a balance going on in that respect. No, the bigger issue is the fact that God alone needs to fulfill those areas in my life (and is more than able to), and that I need to look to Him instead of a game.
For anyone who's read this blog for a while, I'm sure you recognize the struggles that I've had with balance (or addiction if you will). I've known for a while that I had been placing too much value on WoW and using it for a source of "feel good" for lack of a better word.
...But I've always been left wanting more, which is the nature of things outside of God. Only God can satisfy completely, everything else is just temporary. And in this case, not only temporary, but only existent in a virtual world!
Call it a mid-life crisis, or burnout, or whatever; the truth is that I now see my activity of the last three and a half years as worse than useless. I've spent more time in game than with my wife, my kids, or my God, and that is really messed up.
TL:DR:
I won't be playing WoW again; I'll transfer my stuff to Teurion and be quit of the game. I need to focus on what really matters.
P.S. Oh, I won't stop blogging; you aren't that lucky. And I am still going to Gen Con, that doesn't have anything to do with my idol worship of WoW (although I will avoid the WoW booths I think...).
The random, incoherent misspellings of a raving wannabe lunatic. All content is either patently offensive or brutally honest in all its assumptions and bases. Usually both... Welcome to the asylum...
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9 comments:
Good for you dude. It's really hard when you find something like that and have to get rid of it.
Especially with games. There is rarely anything essentially wrong with them, much like the stars, but if we like them to much we start to obsess over them. And that which we obsess over we tend to worship, in one way or another.
On a different note, TL:DR?
Too Long:Didn't Read.
And thanks for the comment. It is hard to just throw away nothingness. It really is...
Do what you need to do for your family your faith and yourself. I read for the irreverent sense of humor. Be well in all phases of your life.
Good luck and god speed in all your coming challenges.
Humor...humor, hmmm, I remember writing something of that nature.
Methinks it's time for Some Musings again...
Also, grow a real beard.
My wife...she loves the scratchy...
Hmm, well my two cents on the matter are below. Take it for what you will but it's just an opinion sir.
As human beings, it is in our nature to want to be good at the things we do. It is in our nature to want to be accepted by not only God but other people as well. We are social creatures and while God's acceptance in what we do with our lives is all we should need, we all know that we yearn for more than just His acceptance.
You say you took pride in the deeds you accomplished in game and that they were a source of identity for you? Don't you also want to be a good worker at your job? A good father and husband? Don't you take pride in doing a good job at these roles in life as well? Aren't they too a source of identity? And your children. Weren't they your ultimate purpose, arguably your most cherished accomplishment?
In my opinion, I think the ultimate issue here as well as with countless others, is moderation. Yes, God should come first. But at the same time, I don't think He would want you to give up something you enjoy doing, be it a game, dancing, bike riding, whatever. These things are hobbies for a reason and should be treated as such.
When WoW or any activity goes from something you like and want to do to something you HAVE to do, then yes you do need to step back and rethink priorities, and I thank God for the ability TO step back and do just that from time to time.
As friends we support you whole heartedly. Do what is right for you bro. We wish you the best of luck in your newfound WoW-free existence :-) 16 days till Gen Con!! Going to be good times!
What I've realized is that WoW did cross the line with me in becoming a substitute for what God should provide.
Of course, I do want to do everything in life with excellence and believe that God wants us to do the same, but the difference is whether we're doing it for our glory...or for His. Even at that, we can seemingly glorify Him while really glorifying ourselves (that wasn't the case in my situation, God didn't even enter the equation).
And you're right, balance IS the key. Unfortunately, as the struggles of this blog have documented, I have a huge problem with balance. 1 or 0, man, 1 or 0...lol.
Dax
I'm totally in Dax's boat there. Anytime I'm doing something where I feel that other people are "counting" on me I tend to throw everything else to the wind (or at least let it pass by while trying not to see it) so that I can "be there for the team".
Sometimes it's video games (retromud and WoW for me) or some jobs (work in the ER is like a family and I remember once Christmas where I worked from 3P on the 24th to 7A on the 25th, just to turn around and work from 11A to 7P on the 25th as well. I was even tempted to skip my brother's wedding for work (luckily I wasn't that stupid).
Anything that we put on a pedestal and place in front of God counts as an idol and (in my opinion) be avoided entirely if possible (I can't exactly not work at a job where others depend on me for fear of idolizing my work, but I can avoid WoW and retromud).
~joe
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